Ambivalence the key to success?
As a person who's focused and passionate and determined, how can success (which in my case is to become a financially thriving full-time children's author) be achieved by having mixed feelings?
But when read in context, Ms. Amy Poehler is onto something.
"...ambivalence is the key to success.
I will say it again. Ambivalence is key.
You have to care about your work, but not about the result. You have to care about how good you are and how good you feel, but not about how good people think you are or how good people think you look."
- excerpt from Yes Please by Amy PoehlerPlayWrite
As any writer can attest, the writing life is a lonely road that should only be traveled for the LOVE of writing, NOT the destination. If you want to be published...fantastic. If you want to go the traditional route...great. Just be sure to suit up in some armor because the skin you were born in won't be thick enough.
I started querying my YA fantasy earlier this year. Almost half way to triple digits. But as the email rejections start to crowd my inbox combined with those who never even respond, I start to question my abilities and wonder does my writing really suck that bad?
Art is not universal, but rather personal taste. And just because I love my writing, doesn't mean anyone else will. Not even my own mother. Publishing is a business. One where agents and editors will read and reread again and again to get that manuscript just right.
I love books. But there are only a select few that I love that much to want to read over and over and over. So, yeah, I get it. When the form rejection letter says "[we] are not a good fit" (aka "it's not you, it's me"), I have to remind myself to not take it personally.
And hey, my writing can't be all that bad. Four "positive" rejections (aka personally addressed with some positive feedback) and two full manuscript requests ain't bad. In an industry where only 0.01% get a partial/full request from the slush pile, I'd say I'm doing pretty darn good.
Moral of the story? Ambivalence is the key to querying. Enjoy writing. Love your words. Care about the craft. And let go of others' opinions. No one can take away your passion, unless you let them.
Care, don't care, who cares? Me, but only when it comes to my craft and my words.