Tuesday, February 5, 2013

"I wish they knew...

...how much I love my life."

When I sat down to free write on the Sunday Scribblings prompt 'immunity', my first thought was "I wish I was immune to loneliness."

This last week has been plagued with darkness. I've been stuck, mainly in my head, but it's clutched onto my body keeping me from moving forward.

Watching the CBS evening news, I saw the piece here about Todd Love, a U.S. Recon Marine in Afghanistan two years ago who lost both legs and his left forearm to a landmine. Since last year Love has kayaked, skydived, wrestled with an alligator, surfed and scuba dived.

For two days I hadn't left my apartment, staring at the blinking cursor on my computer screen trying to wrestle and win against my inner demons and finish my young adult novel. I felt so alone. And despite all my friends and family, I reached out to no one.

Then something inside sparked when Love said, "I don't have a reason to feel sorry for myself. ...people will come up to me and thank me for my service, and I see the tears in their eyes and there's not much that I can say. In my mind, I'm thinking I wish these people knew -- I wish they knew what I was thinking, how much I love my life."

I have a choice. It's not that I'll ever be immune to loneliness. But I can choose to reach out. I can choose to dance despite the darkness. I will face adventure and push through the muck. I will allow my creativity to flourish no matter what emotions flow. Let the anger, sadness, and loneliness speak and contribute their piece. And through it all, I will hold onto the thought of how much I love my life.

live the life you love...love the life you live,

1 comment:

  1. I don't know if anyone is free from loneliness. I tend to create a different world and write about that. You can imagine how frustrated I felt when the SS post became irregular. This prompted me to write even more in a different vein. I love life too; may that never change for either of us.


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