Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Fear: friend or foe?

I consider myself risk averse. Probably because I like control and prefer outcomes to be in my favor. I had a nice, predictable life not so long ago: a steady paycheck and comfy condo. I traded it all in to move cross country to fulfill my dream of writing for children & young adults.

credit: productivelifeconcepts.com
Talk about facing fear head on.

Everyday staring at the blank page. Awaiting feedback from my critique group. Reading my work in front of peers...in front of strangers. Hoping for a response on my manuscript submissions. Wondering if I'll ever get an agent...book deal...income...fans...

Up until a few days ago, I've always thought of my fear as "the enemy." It was the reason I procrastinated or feigned writer's block. Fear was the companion to my perfectionist so that I never quite finished. But what if fear was actually my friend?

There's a reason anxiety has a hold on me. And instead of playing freeze tag, why not pause instead and take a closer look at my dread.

My distress over everything stated abovefrom the blank page to ever having fansis all because of a deep-seated desire to be loved. Seriously, who doesn't struggle with this at some point in their life?

I can't control what others feel about me or my words. But I can control what I think, say and do. As long as I stay true to my beliefs and my voice, then my audience will find me. And hopefully, some will be inspired, entertained and enlightened.

So, thank you fear. Thank you for reminding me to let go of what I can't control and focus on what I can, and what truly fuels my soul.

you had me at boo!

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