Thursday, May 8, 2014

Say it loud!

Failed! by sonja
I am a perfectionist.

Don't worry, I'm not sticking with an old label. I'm reframing the definition. Turning my Achilles into a strength. To be "perfect" for me now means to accept and love me as I am, right here, right now. And to continue to experience, grow and become more of who I really am...perfect.

In the past, my perfectionism required that everything I do, from grades, to sports, to drawing, had to be "the best." An A+. Never miss a fly ball (even if it smacks you square in the forehead and you have your first MRI). A hand looks like a hand and not chicken scratch.

Failure was not an option. So fear started to take hold, making new experiences full of anxious hesitation. And slowly, life turned into a suffocating routine, full of missed opportunities and resentment.

With redefining perfectionism, it also changes the way I see failing. A necessary step (usually several) along the journey to achieving mastery. No one can run a marathon the first day they try (well, there was this one guy dating an ex co-worker of mine who did it, but there's always exceptions). But no one can circle around the earth the first day they learn to walk...not that I've met yet.

But we can try something new. And if we like the experience, then we keep at it. Failing along the way. Maybe even becoming an expert. The next Serena Williams. Or following in the footsteps of Miss Dolly Parton or Lady Gaga. Or maybe it's just for fun, playing tennis with friends. Singing karaoke on the weekends. Or maybe we hate it. And move on to the next experience.

You may even find yourself wanting to try, but not quite giving it a go. That's OK too. Revel in the experience of finding out more about who you really are and love yourself for it.

So, get on up and say it loud: "I've failed and I'm proud!" And then take that next step.



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